Hearts Breaking
by Alia G. L
Summary: Doctor Who, Season 2, "Doomsday". What might have been going through the Doctor's head as he stood next to the wall and later on, at Bad Wolf Bay.
1. The White Wall

Disclaimer: I've never written a Doctor Who piece before. So I apologize if anyone is out of character. I've only been watching this for a month. And I know this episode happened over four years ago. But the episode "Doomsday" (season 2 finale) was so moving, I just had to write. This is what came out. Oh, and I also do not own any of this.

Hearts Breaking

It's pain. Pain that rears up and grabs hold, refusing to let go. You can't breathe. You can't even feel your heart beat. In fact, you're not even sure if your heart is beating. There are few words to describe such pain. Take the whole pain of humanity, cram it into one heart, and you would still need countless more worlds to equal this pain. It is the pain of hearts breaking and no other pain in the world can equal it.

Hands pressed against the wall. The futile thought of shoving. Shoving it like a door. Maybe it will open. Knowing it will never open. All is lost. One ear pressed against that white wall. That bright white wall. They say a white sheet of paper is a beginning, that you must dip the pen in ink and start writing a new story. They never said that beginnings would be so painful. The white wall- my new beginning.

Lean in closer. If I close my eyes, I can hear her. Her sobs. Her screams. They mirror my own, only it is my very soul that is screaming. If I were to open my mouth, I believe I would fall apart as the scream ripped through my body. Or maybe it's just that I'm in too much shock to scream. It has yet to hit me. Her promise of forever. Her forever. It's gone. Forever gone. Maybe only my soul has grasped this fact. It's funny. I thought I'd lost my soul. She found it and gave it back to me. And in return, I gave her my heart.

I can still hear her sobs. Her cries. I start to imagine the others looking on, but her image is all I see. It is all I want to see. Seared into my brain, forever and always with me.

Walking away. I have to. It is over. I feel dead inside now. Maybe the soul is gone forever this time. Will I ever feel again?

Then a light. I can still hear her. Her sobs, echoing from a vast distance. Coming across the Void. A hole. There is one hole left. And I will die trying to open it.


	2. Bad Wolf Bay

Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. I'm not making any money off of this. And this is a second chapter because FanFiction would not let me put some sort of separator between the first part of the story and the second part.

Hearts Breaking, Part 2

You never believe in love until you look into someone's eyes. You never know that you can be loved. You go your whole life, taking things for granted. And then you look into that one person's eyes and realize you could never take them for granted. They become one with you, you feel them and they feel you. The problem is this understanding rarely happens until it is too late. Too late to respond.

She cries. Hands pull through her hair. Such a common gesture. One I have seen her do day after day. And yet, know seared into my head for all eternity. She starts, stumbles, tries again.

"I love you."

And I curse myself- for not having done it sooner. For not appreciating her. For not telling her.

"Quite right, too." I have to say it. My heart is breaking at even the thought of saying it back. It is too late. It is too late. It is too late. But I owe her. I owe her everything.

"And I suppose, if it's my last chance to say it… Rose Tyler…"

My soul screams again, in more agony than ever before. I'm left, once more, listening to the echoes of her sobs. Of her cries. And I join her. Tears streak down. Two tears, to represent my two hearts breaking once more into a billion pieces.

Can hearts break even more than they have already broken? Can they be so crushed by the inevitable, the unstoppable, that they can never heal? Can one truly die from this? This burning agony. The words that will forever be just a thought, unspoken for eternity, always remaining on my lips, haunting me with what I should have said a long time ago.

"Rose Tyler, I love you."


End file.
